THIS WEEK: OWNERS

THE GOOD: Major League Baseball, The Montreal Expos

Major League Baseball? That's right, MLB. For these yahoos, in their desperate attempt to wring some money from the Expos, are trying just about anything.. and just about anything is what the Expos need. Playing in Puerto Rico is a great idea, and hopefully its success will prompt them to move the team around in '04 (you really think they'll solve the Expos problem in one year?) What else are you going to do… keep them in Montreal?

THE BAD: Mike Ilitch, The Detroit Tigers

Ilitch is the worst owner in Detroit Tigers history, bar none. Coming in at the end of another hack, Tom Monaghan, who had the dumb luck to purchase John Fetzer's soon-to-be-championship team (and then proceeding to strip the farm clubs of anything resembling talent), Ilitch has ridden a wave of good feeling en route to the worst stretch of Tiger baseball ever. He shut down good Tiger Stadium which, despite his claims, did not need to be closed. Then he claimed the new digs would give the Tigers the money to be competitive. They aren't. His Red Wings keep winning, and that makes whatever lies (and they are lies) come out of his mouth seem like gold to the sportswriters of Detroit. There are bad owners, but none have wreaked such havoc, and done so with less criticism, than Mike Ilitch.

THE UGLY: George Steinbrenner, The New York… oh, hell, you know

Steinbrenner could be perceived as pure evil. Doesn't he know his bulging salaries are killing the widdle teams like Oakland and Minnesota? Wasn't he the goof who kept firing Billy Martin and antagonizing his players? Well, Steinbrenner also builds winners, and the jury's still out in our court as to whether or not dynasties help or hinder baseball. The Yankees success doesn't exist in a bell jar, insulated from George's influence. Love him or hate him, George Steinbrenner is the only owner alive today that will someday have a plaque in the Hall of Fame.